Through talking about honeymoons I’ve become aware of an idea I had in my head…not something I really thought about actively. It was just the sort of thing one maybe expects or wants to happen…subconsciously. My preconceived notion about honeymoons. I will try to paint the picture: Someday, many years from now, a faded snapshot of myself and James will be unearthed from a box in a basement by someone pouring over dusty albums. There we would be pictured; young and tan, on some beach in the south of France or somewhere (definitely seaside, definitely exotic) with drinks in hand. I would be beaming under big sunglasses and keeping a giant hat from flying away. Or we would be holding hands, or laughing together. This would be a photograph of us on our honeymoon.

No doubt, the notion of this prospective documentation is buried deep in my mind because as a little girl I discovered a honeymoon photo series. By junior high I had managed to devour every photograph there possibly was to see in all of my families (many) albums. I spent hours going through boxes in our basement discovering little treasures of stories I gleaned from each page about distant relatives all the way up to my parents’ generation. Among those there are only a few photos my parents took of each other on their honeymoon and they were mixed in with photographs from their early married life. In one photo it looks like they have an inside joke together. My Dad is sitting on a towel in the bright sunlight, a glittering blue pool behind him. He has aviators on and has been captured mid-chuckle. I asked my Mom where the photos were taken and she told me it was at a hotel where she and my Dad stayed during their honeymoon.

Until now, I hadn’t really thought about my own honeymoon or what I wanted it to be like specifically. I just had this vague illustration in my head. But surprisingly what I’ve discovered I’d really like for our first week after getting married can be gathered from that snapshot in time: a pair in love, enjoying time together, away from work. That’s pretty simple.

Still, my first reaction was to balk when James and I started talking seriously about what sort of a big trip (if that) we could realistically afford. Until then we had talked about traveling to Santa Fe or another city somewhere in the Southwest possibly. But in hammering out the details we realized it was not a wise decision. One of the top goals in our wedding planning is to be wise financially. Throughout all of the planning keeping that in mind helps me stay focused on what matters when making big decisions. So we’ve opted for a more affordable and simple plan. We’ll be spending a couple of nights away and then plenty of time settling into our new house and relaxing before going back to work. We’re going to plan out a day trip, brunches, lounging about, movies, time in the garden, painting, reading, etc…I can’t wait!

My parents didn’t go on a big, lavish trip. They went to Florida. They also had a small, simple wedding. But that isn’t what comes to mind when I think about their marriage. I think about how they love each other, and how they’ve enjoyed a long happy marriage and continue to do so. I need to remind myself of this as we plan. One blog I have been reading; 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding has excellent perspective checks whenever you feel yourself comparing / looking to the Wedding Industry for answers on how things should be. One of my favorite pieces of advice she gives to engaged couples to remember is to fill in the gap in this phrase “It’s about love, commitment, connection--not _____________.” In this case Extreme Swanky Trip fills in the blank.

So we are not (as we know it) traditionally going on a honeymoon according to the historical definition. But as far as I’m concerned it has more to do with just being beside MY HONEY than any exotic local.

The Honeymoon Song by The Beatles: (James I know you don’t like the Beatles that much but this song is cute… “fancy is free!)

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