I was looking at a recipe for beet salad, and there in the “Most Popular ” column is the headline: Modern Love: Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear
Well, I consider myself something of an authority on Modern Love, so I checked it out.
Very interesting article to say the least; the gist is, that in our striving to “take care of ourselves” we have become a society that easily drops the promises in our vows when things get messy. How are we to act in the midst of “or worse,” and for how long?
I suppose the author could be accused of playing the martyr or even being masochist. Maybe she was encouraging bad behavior. But I thought this a great rebuttal to the articles I see everywhere that have a tone like Lets Call the Whole Thing Off (published recently in the fine Atlantic).
Anyway, Step emailed me the link today, and she had the following to say:
i thought this was really interesting and an amazing picture of how the Lord responds to us when we are distant… I honestly didn’t think it was FAIR necessarily but this lady knows what it means to love unconditionally and persevere. And I think she knew that her husband was going through something and she had a lot of trust.
Love to hear your take on the article.
Just a touch o' that Modern Love...
2 Comments
Interesting article. Where I’m not one to encourage being an emotional doormat, I applaud this woman’s boundaries. She did, afterall, give her husband options. And he didn’t ever leave. It’d be different if he had. I don’t really know what she meant by saying she refused to suffer. Then I picture her standing on a lonesome Montana prairie, chainsaw in hand, a glass of lemonade by her side. Who would leave a woman like that?
Interesting article!
If you’re looking for more along these lines, I recommend “We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love” by Robert A. Johnson. After a couple of chapters of Jungian archetype talk, I lost patience and skipped ahead to the conclusion. I was really pleased with what I found there!
Ganked from an online review by Cara Stein (http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/110050.We_Understanding_the_Psychology_of_Romantic_Love):
“In summary, distinguish between the sacred and the ordinary. Have an inner life where you explore and respect the sacred and your own soul, rather than expecting another person to embody that for you. Keep your human relationships humble and down-to-earth: “stirring the oatmeal” love. When you quit trying to mix the two, you lose the drama and the druglike high, but you gain reality.”