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A Long and Happy Marriage

By steph | Published: September 1, 2009

Lucia and Karl Schuon. My Maternal Grandparents

A blog that I frequent called “a Cup of Jo” is written by a very sweet and kindhearted woman named Joanna Goddard. She has been blogging since 2006. This year she got engaged, and then got married this past Saturday. While she is away on her honeymoon this week, she is featuring a series on her blog in which she has asked some of her favorite designers and writers to share their secrets to their long and happy marriages. I’ve been following for the last few days, but found today’s entry by writer Craig Nova particularly interesting and encouraging.

There are many ingredients to a long and joyful marriage. I know there is not one formula for success. But certainly there are patterns to which healthy, long and loving marriages succeed. This week I stumbled upon this beautiful story about a couple in their 80’s who have been married for 60 years. What’s remarkable is that the husband has been placing a rose on his wife’s pillow every morning since they were married. He also “kisses his 83-year-old wife Joan each morning and every night he ensures she goes to sleep with another kiss.” Aww. It seems that being in love just fosters being more in love! But so do a lot of other things. So I was prompted by this series to ask my Mom on IM today what she thinks are her secrets to a long and happy marriage (she and my Dad have been married 29 years). I would like to share what she wrote:

  • Christ-Centered Marriage (Put God first in all things)
  • Always being aware that your spouse is a precious gift from God
  • Pray together
  • Mutual respect
  • Good communication
  • On-going dates, even after kids arrive
  • Make decisions together
  • Have mutual interests as well as individual interests
  • When disagreeing, speak softly and with respect
  • Each spouse puts the other’s needs and desires before their own
  • Learn what your spouse’s love language is, and do it often.
  • Learn to have fun together
So what about you? Would anyone else like to share their advice?
This entry was posted in Musings. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

One Comment

  1. Phil
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 5:25 pm | Permalink

    Your mom is on the right track. No matter how gel you think you and your spouse are, Christ should always be the focus. Praying everyday is essential, and is a great habit to form. Speaking civilly to one another and realizing that loving somebody takes work. It’s a daily commitment that should be renewed everyday.

    Learning love languages is very important too. I’m service oriented, so I tend to always want to do things for my wife! I love it. Meghan and I have learned of different ways to have fun together. We are never bored. Heck, pick up a book before you go to bed or while driving (a good novel maybe or something that makes you ponder) and read to each other.

    Reply

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